Forgo all previous thoughts
Everything is wrong
All around us has changed
Real life has gone
All my friends have gone away
They are all out
having fun
I am
alone
The only
One.
I could make the best of it
Try new things
See what fits
The truth of it is I feel
low
Being here. No place to go.
There was a time I got invited to join in
Nervous me, glad to begin
A journey of inclusion
Accompanied by anxiety
And maybe that’s what put them off me
They didn’t know
That everytime
I was asked
I got braver, sparkled, danced
Then anxiety hit again
Pushed me back into my pen
Like a caged bird, not allowed to sing
Confined to listen to everyone else’s din
My head hurt
My brain exploded
All the happiness eroded
The invites all dried up
Eventually I tried again
Clean page, fresh ink, the dots intact
Suggesting this, pursuing that
Until I heard, “you’re not where it’s at”.
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